My instructional assistant was testing one of my students on about 225 sight words. The student looked at the list and promptly told her that, "You know I can't read all these words because if I read all those words then my mouth is going to hurt."
My class was counting
M&Ms for the 100th day of school this past week and one of my
students was trying to tell me that she didn't like M&Ms but instead
she said, " I don't like enemas."
student 1 to Me: oooo! I like your scarf!
student 2 to Me: Well, Mrs., I like your whole...your whole....(thinking)...body!
Me: (laughing) You mean my outfit!
student 2: Yes! That's what I meant!
student to Me: I think you were a good listener when you were little!
telling another student: BUT you CAN do it! Don't tell me you can't!
Read this part to me! (student reads) I KNEW you could do it!
Me: Why did you hit him?
student: Because I felt like it.
This one is totally TMI but I have to share:
Me: Why are you running down the hall? You should be outside and waiting in line.
student: I have diarrhea. (while holding bottom)
So I am handing out these little "magic e" stars that I glued on Popsicle sticks...here is the conversation that followed:
student 1: Did you make these for us?
Me: I sure did. I made them at home this weekend.
student 2: Wow! You sure do like us don't you?
Me: (sarcastically) I guess I do. Just a little bit!
student 1: Thank you!
2: We are like one big family...Mrs. is the mom and we are all her
kids....Can you imagine if she really had THIS many kids?
ran over to tattle on another kid. She told me that a boy had said the
sh** word. I noticed he seemed very distraught...so I decided to talk
to him. This is the conversation that occured:
Me: Could you tell me what happened?
student: (crying) Well, I did say sh**, but my sister told me it wasn't a bad word!
Me: (trying not to laugh) Well, kiddo it is a bad word and you should
not say it at school. You need to ask your mom the next time your
sister tells you that!
A fellow teacher turned around to one of
her student's loudly saying "MOM!" Just to see that some maxi pads had
fallen out of his backpack!
student: Mrs. C, could I have a hug?
Mrs. C: I would like you to sit down and practice reading your green book.
student raises hand at desk with very serious expression...
Mrs. C: Yes. (slightly impatiently)
student: I'm allergic to books.
student: I'm going to draw a power ranger.
Mrs. C: Cool.
student: You know what power rangers are?!
Mrs. C: Yes, I do.
student: I didn't know that teachers knew what power rangers were!!!
student: When can I give you your Christmas present?
Mrs. C: You can give it to me on the 20th before we have Christmas break.
student: OK! I'm going to give you something my mom doesn't want anymore!
student: Do you have any kids?
other student: No, remember, she only has a husband and a cat!
student: How can you be married and not have any kids?!
Mrs. C: Now, remember what Mr. J said about wrestling?
student: That I shouldn't talk about it or even pretend to do it. But, Mrs. C, can I talk about transformers?
student (very upset and throwing things): I hate you! I don't like you!
Mrs. C: That's ok you don't have to like me but you have to stop throwing things.
student: You're so mean...you're like a CAT!